Tecla SAP - O maior portal de dicas de inglês.

Two old friends meet passing on the street one day. But one looked forlorn, and almost on the verge of tears. His friend asked, "What had the world done to you, my old friend?" The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle...

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on...

The car was pulled over by a highway patrolwoman for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several...

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you...

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:...

I think - therefore...

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to...

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a...

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with...

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:...

Three old guys were out walking. First one says,...

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes...

I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which...

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I...

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being...

We always hold hands. If I...

The third grade teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly said. "My family went to the New York City Zoo and we...

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can...

It's great being a woman because...

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know...

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk:...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS - Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable...

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: Middle age is when you...

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: You can't trust dogs to...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and...

If you owe your bank a hundred dollars, you have a...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to...

Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the...

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: CUBE FARM: An office filled with...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: TREEWARE: Hacker slang for...

If you lend someone $20 and never see...

Only in America... do we use answering machines to...

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China...

After a month of staying at home with our newborn son, my wife and I felt the need for a night out. Reluctantly, I asked my parents to baby-sit while we went to a movie, assuring them that we...

COMPLICAÇÕES LINGÜÍSTICAS

Bumper sticker: "You have the right to remain silent...

"The problem with the French is that they don't have...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS - Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to...

Only in America....do we have...

Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the...

"When there's a will, I want...

If you tell the truth, you don't...

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing...

I wonder how much deeper would the...

A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a...

Money talks, they say - all it ever said...

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: Forget the...

A blonde calls up her friend and asks her if she can come over and...

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a...

I realized the impact of computers on my young son one evening when there was a...

The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a...

When I die, I want to go peacefully, like my...

Only in America... do people order double...

On a Chicago billboard: "Now you can...

What is the difference between in-laws and...

Two mothers and two daughters were fishing. They...

PLURALITIES

Middle age is when it takes longer to...

Time may be a great healer, but...

Some days you are the bug, some days...

Success is relative; the more success,...

Car service: If it ain't broke,...

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: When your Mom is mad at your dad...

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:...

"For safety's sake, I try not to go to the...

"The road of good intentions is...

"It's so humiliating to go on job interviews, especially when...

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said,...

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was...

"Computers let you make more mistakes faster than...

I was glancing over the cover of a women's magazine I'd just bought. One title caught my eye: "Men's Secret Fear About...

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when...

Don't squat with your...

Time between slipping on a peel and...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will...

A conclusion is simply the place where...

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should...

"According to a New Jersey poll, 92% of married women say...

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is...

"You know you've been on a diet too long when...

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give...

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask,...

"What insight could you possibly hope to gain from a man whose...

"According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women are...

DOUGH... the stuff...that buys me beer...

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant kind of like...

"Drink is your enemy - love...

"According to a new report, this year airline passengers have been subject to...

The Lawyer's Creed: A man is innocent until...

Always remember you're...

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side, and...

When your wife asks, "Do I look fat?" the correct response is,...

A meeting is where they keep the...

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try...

We are born naked, wet, and...

BUMPER STICKER: "Hard work has a future...

What has 12 teeth and 150 eyes?...

Why is it that doctors call...

I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each...

One of the signs that Technology has taken over your life: In a computer store, you...

"If you share an apartment with a biologist, don't...

Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to...

Five surgeons are discussing who are the best types of surgical patients. The first surgeon says,...

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because...

One of the signs that technology has taken over your life: You...

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to...

"If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be...

"I'm so ugly... My father carries around the picture of...

IRS: We've got what it takes to...

BUMPER STICKER: "Lead me not into temptation...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: UNINSTALLED = Euphemism for being...

How does the guy who drives the snowplow...

"It's like deja vu...

"Laugh and the world laughs with...

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room,...

Department of...

BUMPER STICKER: "I just got lost in thought. It was...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: Mouse Potato: The wired generation's answer...

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WORDS: Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group and...

"Age is a very high price to...

Make it idiot proof and someone will...

"Continental people have sex lives; the English have...

Why is it that when you transport something by car,...

Bumper sticker: "If you can read this, I can hit my...

Q. Why is 6 afraid of 7?...

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?...

When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new...

Dain...

When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were...

"Half this game is ninety...

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose...

The beatings will continue until...

Do witches run...

Beauty is in the eye of the...

I can see clearly now, the...

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a...

3 kinds of people: those who...

I used up all my sick days, so...

Proofread carefully to see if you...

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's...

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found...

For people who like peace and...

Life is a sexually...

Mental floss prevents...

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in...

Help Wanted: Telepath. You...

"We're going to turn this team...

What has four legs and an arm?...

Shin: A device for...

Why do we drive on...

The difference between "involvement" and "commitment" is like an...

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow...

If you look closely at a black panther, and you can see the spots in its coat...

A guy gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and says...

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for...