0 A three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. “Mama,” he asked, “are these my brains?” Mama answered, “Not yet.” Cf. Falsas Gêmeas: SMALL x LITTLE Cf. Gramática: Adjetivos Numéricos Cf. Gírias: NO-BRAINER Cf. Humor: BATHTUB Cf. Mais Humor ...
0 A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls over and says “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!” Cf. Humor: INVOLVEMENT x COMMITMENT Cf. Mais Humor ...
0 A customer called an airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card. He was asked, “Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card?” The customer replied, “V-I-S-A.” Cf. Falsas Gêmeas: CLIENT x CUSTOMER Cf. Expressões Idiomáticas: Pagar um drinque Cf. Vocabulário: Multa Cf. Mais Humor ...
0 There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries [fazer compras; ir ao supermercado]. One day, she went to the butcher [açougue; ...
0 A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!” Cf. Falsos Cognatos: PHYSICIAN MORAL DA HISTÓRIA: A piada brinca com dois dos vários significados do verbo “TO STAND”. A primeira interpretação possível para a pergunta “How do I stand?” é a do paciente, ...
0 I went to a restaurant about a week ago and in the men’s room above the urinals there was a sign that read: “We aim to please, you aim too, please”. Cf. Gramática: Pontuação Cf. Vocabulário: Banheiro Cf. Qual é a tradução de “PISS”? Cf. Mais Humor MORAL DA HISTÓRIA: A frase brinca com dois dos significados de “AIM” [1. almejar, ...
0 A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come ...
0 A blonde calls up her friend and asks her if she can come over and help her with this awesome puzzle she just got. Well, the friend figured “Hey, I’m pretty good at puzzles, so what have I got to lose?” The friend goes over to the blonde’s house and asks her to see the ...
0 A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” She simply replied, “No peer pressure.” Cf. Mais Humor Acompanhe as dicas no Facebook ou no Twitter. ...
0 I’ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times. Cf. Mais Humor Acompanhe as dicas no Facebook ou no Twitter. ...
0 “Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone.” Anthony Burgess Cf. Mais Humor Acompanhe as dicas no Facebook ou no Twitter. ...
0 If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. Cf. Gramática: Conditional II Cf. Mais Humor Acompanhe as dicas do blog no Facebook ou no Twitter. ...
0 “According to a new report, this year airline passengers have been subject to longer delays and ruder service than ever before. When asked about it, a spokesperson for the airlines said, ‘Shut up and get back in line!’” Conan O’Brien Cf. Mais Humor ...
0 “I’m so ugly… My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.” Rodney Dangerfield Cf. Gírias: Feio pra diabo Cf. Mais Humor ...
0 How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? Cf. Mais Humor ...